Bar Mitzvah in Israel

In a recent post, my rabbi commented on the different qualities he perceived in several Israeli bar mitzvahs he recently attended (http://www.andybachman.com/). His post prompted this response from me:

It would be enough if to know that looming at the end of the tunnel for most Israeli children of the age is the army obligation. It would be enough to know that unlike most American children of that age, an Israeli youngster faces the prospect of fighting in still another war, faced with a hateful enemy. And it would be enough just to know that in the case of the Israeli child, the age of majority is just around the corner in a truly tangible way, where for our thirteen year olds the concept of adulthood, even Jewish adulthood, is more symbolic than real. So, yes, I agree that the army obligation, and all it represents looming there in the background, probably does make a profound difference in what it means to be a bar or bat mitzvah in Israel, but that’s not all there is to it. The dichotomy between the Israeli and the Jewish American bar mitzvah experiences regard didn’t emerge in a vacuum. It plays out against the backdrop of what one might call the “narrative wars.”

The narrative wars are about the fight for the Israeli soul, and, by implication since it is Israel we’re talking about, the Jewish soul. It’s about what kind of Zionists and Jews we are going to be. It’s about our interpretation of our history and, therefore, our future. As anyone who cares knows, Israel is a sharply divided society. A lot of people focus on the religious divisions, but to be honest I don’t really care about that. It’s not particularly important me whether there is a vital liberal movement in Israel because if there is enough interest in it, I’m sure it will work itself out. No, the magic unspoken word in this discussion about bar mitzvah in Israel is the “Occupation,” because it’s not just a matter of the prospect of military service, but what that military service is about and, more to the point, what Israel is about. I know Israelis and American Zionists who continue to respond to every skirmish, every bang and boom (and I really don’t mean to be glib here) as if the next Shoah were right around the corner. But just as surely, there are those of us who feel only shame about what’s going on in the West Bank and Gaza. A division like this sews doubt in many minds. To borrow a construction from Golda Meir: “We can forgive ourselves for sending our children into war, but we can never forgive ourselves for doing it when we’re not sure it’s right.” If reaching bar or bat mitzvah feels different in Israel, maybe it’s because a lot of people are ambivalent about what they are asking their children to do and why.

The most basic tenets of Judaism command us to continually question the propriety of any decision we make that affects others. All the more so the ones that affect others in such a profound way as sending children off to war. Most American Jews live at a far remove from making that decision. Should we be surprised, then, that the Israeli bar mitzvah experience is a lot different?

At the risk of mixing tapoochim and topoozim, I’m going to drag Darfur into this too. No question, it’s a profoundly worthy cause. I’ve gone to the meetings, the rallies, taken the bus trip to Washington; I’ll probably go to more. It almost feels sick to suggest that our causes can or should be ranked. So let me put it this way. For those who love Israel, we have to face the fact that our conflict with the Palestinians isn’t a simple, black and white issue. There is a lot of blame to go around and it’s never going to be resolved without our side admitting it. Needless to say, the other side has an awful lot to answer for too, but we can’t control that. We only control what we think and do about our own history. Darfur is important too, but for me the one and only truly Jewish moral issue these days is the Occupation because it’s our doing. We need to talk about it a lot more than we do and sometimes I think we focus on Darfur because it’s a lot easier than the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.